Home : I am my altar

This image encapsulates home to me. I created this set to embark on a royal journey in adornment- one that says, “I am the force that I seek.” Fingers stained and surrounded by smoke and gold molding, my muse stood strong in their vulnerability. A will is unshakable when it knows that it is the force that everyone seeks.

As somewhat of a lifelong transplant who has written about home since grade school, I used to feel this immense disarray when navigating its meaning. I associated it with my past, and how other I felt, how I was the new kid every year, and never fully got used to a dwelling. It was filled with longing and anxiety. But, when I stopped searching outside of myself, and into my past, I started finding home everywhere. My new resolve was that it was where I was. Every experience became a chance to invent home- a place in my heart to feel full in my truth and my worth; rested in the knowing that I am safe. One day the bricks will fall into place and bring these notions into the physical, but until then I’m just glad I found peace.

I am so grateful to navigate unknown waters with my muses. They invigorate my will to keep creating safe spaces for me and my community. And forever grateful to @antigravitymag for seeing us.

Photo by @peacockeyes

Muse @thatfreakyfairy

Styled by @peregrinehonig

Wearing @fanumfaunaleather crown and cuffs & @birdieslovesme lingerie

For the 2023 @neworleansindependentfashion show

#leathercrown #leathercuffs #leatherjewelry #leatheraccessories #leatherlingerie

The Crow

During my morning walks I used to pass by this little park; I always thought it was a pretty sad greenish excuse for recreation. There was rarely anyone there, the plants were dying and at least half the lawn was always uncut or brown. But I wanted these walks to be used to indulge in my environment, the air, the plants, the adults, children, pets, and the wildlife, whatever it offered. It would all seem bleak in a place called Cancer Alley. But, I began to find hope that humans, wildlife, this big beautiful planet are more resilient than we think. 

There are so many birds in this park! It was the first thing I noticed. I started collecting the feathers they dropped, mostly blue jays and crows! And looked forward to listening to their music, getting jarred by the startling crow caw. 

This one fall morning was no different. But I was stressed about something and something just clicked! “Cawwww!” A perfect distraction, because when I looked up I saw the sun, I saw children playing, I saw some vines I hadn’t seen before with fiery red spots. The wind blew and I remembered how lovely the world was outside of my little life, how chaotic nature was, and how easy it was to become consumed with such a small thought inside of a small box on a small plot of land that carried so many memories.

Crows are a powerful bird to meditate on. They represent the distinct magic that resides in creation, the dark, ooey gooey crevices where life is found gestating, ruminating, and cultivating- from the initial state of substance, to something remarkable and unique. 

Getting to know the crow spirit may invoke in us a knowing that we hold the power as creators in our voice and our action, and that magic is around every corner waiting for us to grab it, urging us to flow like healing water around those things we think we can’t handle. We are all creators, and we are what we think! The crow is here to empower those senses. 

Mythology has long described them the friend of the gods as well as the human. For that reason they are represented as messengers between worlds. If you listen, you may stumble upon a gift. Yes, they are loud, but they are also known for their awareness, adaptability, and resourcefulness. They don’t stop at getting what’s best for their immediate community, often casting look outs for the whole neighborhood, and attacking family who slips on their duties. They make their nests high in the trees, always working, reminding us to develop a fierce protection over our spirit and community, no matter the species. If the crow shows up in your life, you might meditate on patience, self expression, creativity, and community.

Take what you will. But next time you are jarred by their distinct song, look up and check out the world, get meta, find some light. Move your body, and let your next creation begin flowing. Once the channel is open it’s open. I hope you choose magic.

A Warm Check In

Hi guys, I’m just stopping in to say hello to new faces and remind you guys how deeply grateful I am to still be serving in this little creative community. I am feeling sentimental today, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sticking around if you’ve been a part of this little family. If you are new, my name is Kylie and I’m a leather worker with a playful passion for personal, collective and ancestral healing.

I have been bound to this creative healer’s lifestyle since I could remember, always feeling connected to some vital energy I couldn’t explain- going in and out of isolation to reconnect with it. Fanum Fauna was born in the pursuit of healing during one of those isolations- the big isolation that the pandemic brought all of us and the one I took in 2019 to grieve a loved one and heal from a car accident.

My Fanum Fauna page started so that I could share my journey and connect with others about healing while I practiced leather work. I wanted to make work that was grounding and stimulating in the way that my altar and art therapy was for me. I wanted to capture the power of prayer and intention in wearable art. The Portable Altar was the result. It was a reminder that there was some special power inside of all us when our modern world couldn’t deliver.

I am closer to that special power, the creator energy, the magic of a clear will and intention because of my community, who has been an invaluable source of love and support. So I am really beyond grateful to be a part of this weird virtual place that has connected me to so many beautiful beings on their own journeys not too different than my own.

I hope you see your light today, and I hope you find a way to capture it for future reflection. Anything can be a talisman. When you are feeling aligned be sure to bottle some of that good stuff up. Write it down, and carry it with you when you need inspiration or protection. You are perfect just as you are, and the more you recognize that the more energy you will have to experience life. You deserve that.

Thank you for listening, and please stay tuned because I have so many goodies to share with you this month. All the love beautiful beings.

Home

Big things are coming this year. As I dissemble my art studio and get ready to move out of my favorite city again, teary eyed and heavy hearted, I’m looking at all the projects I have dreamed up, seen come to life, and then be put to use in this place; so much of my physical, spiritual and creative growth blossomed here in this last half of a year. I accomplished things that I never thought I could. Sacrificing a bed for a studio to work in will have its downsides but I’ve learned to find the bright sides and live in those. Just feeling so happy someone gifted me this space to work in for so long.

Being able to spend a little time back home during the Pandemic reminded me of why I came here almost 11 years ago- what I was in search of, for home and community, and boy did I get a return with interest. I’m so grateful to build community with these people. Resilience found it’s worth here and I can’t wait to come home. Though I won’t be far, and I’ll come back often, I’ll miss our daily walks and talks. They fed me in ways I didn’t know I needed.

I know more than I know anything else that healing is not linear; its cyclical, a spiral that will throw us back into situations we hoped we’d be finished with. So, though I’m tender, I’m happy for the opportunity to grow, for shelter, for family If there’s anything I learned this year it’s that I am capable. I’m capable of making space for the new. I’m capable of stepping into shoes I didn’t know I could fit.

Most of all, I’m grateful I learned the biggest lesson of all- home is right here in this chest cave, these bones, this blood. Home is where I am.

When you are reflecting on your year, try and find the light. When you see yourself in the darkness, try and find peace. Through peace you’ll rest your mind, and through that stillness will come light. It is okay to feel sorrow and anger. It is okay to vent. It is great if you can use it as fuel. But through all of it, please remember where home is. Remember that your perfect in your duality. Remember that healing is not linear. Find gratitude for your breath. Your blood. Your ability to smile and connect to other things. Your darkness is here for you to find your unique light. Find it. Use it. The world absolutely needs it. Happy New Years Eve, friends. So happy to know you.

#lovenotes

Holiday Markets

This holiday season has already been so powerful thanks to so many wonderful humans. I’ve missed New Orleans people so much- this place has allowed all of us to come fully into who we are- crazy, loving, creators who know that small business support, mutual aid and the fight to remain the owner’s of our culture never ends. We always have each other’s backs. I am so grateful to be a part of this community & so excited to see what blossoms from all the amazing connections. I was not only able to be wowed by the creativity and magnetic spirits of tons of local artisans, farmers, chefs and bakers, but a handful of my brain children found new homes. I’m seriously worn out from all the sweetness. I will never forget this weekend thanks to these awesomely fantasmic makers & community builders & so much more: @linkaodomphotography @moonlitapothecary @radicaljoybakery @coffeesciencenola @revolver.fashion Fanum Fauna will be back out Friday-Sunday vending safely outdoors. Keep your eye out for the flyers I’ll be posting. #supportsmallbusiness #supportlocal #supportbipoc #supportrealartists #community #marketlife #artists #makers #fanumfauna

Process: Creator Energy

Free hand cutting leather is a new meditation slash addiction for me. Not many artists talk about the creative restraints it takes to manage being a small business creator. On one hand being open to the flow of creator energy is the goal right! But, if you were in it all the time not much would get done. Artistic discipline for me means cutting that off daily in order to do the labor that pulls everything together and gets it out there to people like making hardware orders, doing finances, writing grant proposals, applying to markets, uploading to my store, photographing, etc. In my practice I actually don’t have much in the way of annoying labor, so I’m not complaining. But I want you to know it’s hard work and I applaud the many small business owner slash artists that I know. We aren’t just playing with paint all day. Being an artist is a job, just like any other, except we are more vulnerable. I choose to make one of a kind pieces, so I can stay in the creative spirit as much as possible. And, thankfully I know how to do all the rest of the stuff, and what I don’t YouTube does. But, there are many a great artist that never get to follow their dreams because of a lack of resources in this way. I am grateful I have the access that I do; I’m grateful New Orleans has exposed me to so many hard working artists, and I’m grateful for what they have taught me, so very grateful, because without art I am lost. So crazy that some artists reach a point where they can just create. I honestly can’t imagine what my productions would look like if I could just create, learn, experiment, vibe with my creator family, and create more 🙏🙏✨✨ Just a thought. Maybe one day. Until then, I’m an Ace, Jack of all trades 😉 #artisticprocess #freehand #handcrafted #handmadejewelry #xacto #handcraftedleather

Discipline

I love this message by the late Carlos Castaneda, American shamanic teacher. As a student of the shamanic arts I am always looking to repurpose the language and concepts that were given to me and I love how he gives new life to the concept of discipline. At some point, we have all struggled to fulfill its expectation. But lately I have been really empowered by this notion that radical surrender and activism could be the answer to feeling fully present, aware AND productive. My discipline is to have a balanced practice of mind, body, spirit, and communing every day, never giving business more love than the rest. Art does not exist within me without balance. In American culture, productivity is the essence of life. Many of us were taught to do anything in our power to attain the “The American Dream”. And, now that that is on hold, we are all faced to consider that there is more to life. We are faced to consider the widespread mental and physical chronic and fatal illness, famine, and destitution, and we are faced with the possibility that we’ve gotten many things wrong. Productivity has a stress trigger because it is a complex concept that involves our wholeness as an ecosystem, not because it will make us rich. Our bodies are only productive to the extent of our longevity and vitality because they have learned over many centuries how to work in unison with the other parts of the body as well as outside forces. Productivity, for our bodies, requires Onness with the land, the air, the germs, the insects, the animals, the water, etc. We might consider this is the same with our minds and our journeys to find purpose and fullness in life. As the land would have us learn about abundance, there is enough for us all if we learn to build healthy, productive communities inside and outside our homes. I believe in you. I love you. Asé. #lovenotes #discipline #shamanicarts

Love Notes

This year has triggered a lot of change for all of us. So many of us are navigating dark, lonely waters, made to face all the things we’ve put to the side, many without any validation or Gold Stars! But I’m here to tell you I’m proud of you! I’m proud of you for just for getting up and being you. Gold Star for you! Filling yourself up is a practice, and is especially hard if you have depended on sales, coworker or partner support, or ego to validate you. Just remember it was always inside of you. Keep on loving you until you know exactly how you want to be loved. You’re enough. You were always enough. Thank you @risingwoman for the beautiful reminder ✨

The Bee

Bees have been showing up a lot for me lately. I caught this one in a particularly frustrating part of my day, where I had just made up my mind to smell the flowers, literally. This bee made its way at the exact same time. And flew in my face immediately after the photo 😏The next day the bee in this next photo buzzed outside my window at night for what seemed like hours. He just buzzed and tapped, buzzed and tapped. I was like okay! I get the message! The bee totem represents the honey of life, the balance that can be accomplished if we choose to live in divine purpose, in other words do our jobs, and live up to our capabilities, with pride and joy, instead of pushing through the motions. For me, I had stubbed my toe or cut or stabbed myself maybe 4 xs that week rushing around. I kept telling myself, “slowwwww down, Kylie.” Bees have short, busy, fruitful lives. They taste with their legs, their most sensitive organ, and they know if there is nectar to be enjoyed or not. They remind us to savor the labors and activities we’re involved in, to grow discernment for what doesn’t serve us, and to make our lives fertile while the sun shines. I needed those reminders. Thanks little guys. #bees #insecttotem

The Angel Trumpet

Right on time, as always, nature shows up for me, literally smacking me in the face if it has to.. It did. Angel’s Trumpet, blooming and fragrant as ever at night, shows up in a time of transformation and death reminding us to “enter our garden in the evening hours”, in other words, to surrender to the darkness, and look within for the Divine answers we seek. Through releasing the personal will to control and dominate the “New World Man will become capable of healthy expressions of creativity and assertion, and fulfill his considerable destiny of service to humanity. His receptivity to change happens only when he understands that he must be transformed internally, so that he may blossom in aspiration with the Divine.” The Power of Flowers Book Deck Set. I have been doing a lot of thinking about the current world order, as I’m sure all of us have. And, of course, my concern is with spirit. How did we get here? Where is the sickness coming from? How can we heal? The answers always point toward self healing, direct action, & unity with nature. The western perspective of our Hierarchy of Needs, Maslow’s version, the colonized version, puts the individual at the base removed from the collective completely, where, through the accumulation of stuff and personal achievement a person reaches self actualization. That has always felt backward to me. The Emergence of the Breath Life Theory dissects this thought beautifully, and reminds us that western thought has hijacked so many principles from indigenous peoples and left the most vital part, “community, ancestral knowledge, continued in comments #lovenotes