Big things are coming this year. As I dissemble my art studio and get ready to move out of my favorite city again, teary eyed and heavy hearted, I’m looking at all the projects I have dreamed up, seen come to life, and then be put to use in this place; so much of my physical, spiritual and creative growth blossomed here in this last half of a year. I accomplished things that I never thought I could. Sacrificing a bed for a studio to work in will have its downsides but I’ve learned to find the bright sides and live in those. Just feeling so happy someone gifted me this space to work in for so long.
Being able to spend a little time back home during the Pandemic reminded me of why I came here almost 11 years ago- what I was in search of, for home and community, and boy did I get a return with interest. I’m so grateful to build community with these people. Resilience found it’s worth here and I can’t wait to come home. Though I won’t be far, and I’ll come back often, I’ll miss our daily walks and talks. They fed me in ways I didn’t know I needed.
I know more than I know anything else that healing is not linear; its cyclical, a spiral that will throw us back into situations we hoped we’d be finished with. So, though I’m tender, I’m happy for the opportunity to grow, for shelter, for family If there’s anything I learned this year it’s that I am capable. I’m capable of making space for the new. I’m capable of stepping into shoes I didn’t know I could fit.
Most of all, I’m grateful I learned the biggest lesson of all- home is right here in this chest cave, these bones, this blood. Home is where I am.
When you are reflecting on your year, try and find the light. When you see yourself in the darkness, try and find peace. Through peace you’ll rest your mind, and through that stillness will come light. It is okay to feel sorrow and anger. It is okay to vent. It is great if you can use it as fuel. But through all of it, please remember where home is. Remember that your perfect in your duality. Remember that healing is not linear. Find gratitude for your breath. Your blood. Your ability to smile and connect to other things. Your darkness is here for you to find your unique light. Find it. Use it. The world absolutely needs it. Happy New Years Eve, friends. So happy to know you.
#lovenotes
